Well... since I´ve found you, I guess I do not need another day. Right?
Not really, there are always other days. I haven´t found you in days.
Some days ago I met you for a short lunch together and we laughed, then split again. Since that time I lost you again.
I always lose and find what's lost. This gives me comfort, a happy smile on my face.
But If I´m honest, I always miss you when you´re gone.
It´s because I don´t see where we were yesterday. My heart ackes most of the time during my time here on this planet. It´s mostly sweet... Yet with me getting older, I try to control this acking even if I know it's the wrong decision, I don´t even have to try.
But how does my heart know all of this? It still lingers in another reality and is confused from events which made it stumble, fall and worry.
I don't want to miss you anymore, I want to find you every day.
I don´t want to search for you in the first place, even if it´s the fuel inside of my sore heart. Touch me and hold me close to your soul so I can feel every little bit of yours.
Because when I feel you, I´m vibrating with every inch. Every cell shines bright through electricity.
And as soon as I´ve found you every goddamn day, I'll get bored. Really bored.
And I decide to forget you again. Simple.
During days on the beach, I´ll dismiss any chance to write you letters.
Spending time in the art cafe will be not only a break from the world, you´ll also stay outside. During the nights I´ll listen to the stars over my head and I´ll finally hear them sing, because when you´re around they stay silent.
And I´ll enjoy every seconds of my inner worlds. Until my heart is hurting again. Because this hurt is comfort, it feels alive and strangely calming. I like my hurt, with it I´ll grow and make it into my own.
I make it my own, as I did with you.
27.8.2020
